This is more than untitled, this is unknown

i wish it to not hurt this bad, missing someone. you wait your whole life trying to find that right person and then when you finally do, when you're finally happy, when you're finally whole, it gets taken from you. yes, distance shouldn't mean anything and it doesn't for my feelings for you, but for my heart, it hurts. i will love you no matter how far away, but that does not mean that i have to pretend like it doesn't hurt, like it's not painful as hell to watch you drift away inch by inch, and feel so powerless. i want you to be happy, oh i wish it for you! But i feel how i feel. Can't you understand that i am only half a peron, i am only half whole, when i left i left part of me with you, and that's where it will always stay. i will never be completely whole until im with you, by your side, holding your hand, kissing your cheek, hugging you..This is not to put blame on you in any way, it is to vent. I want you to understand that i do understand, that i get it. But just because i get it doesn't mean i have to agree with it, it doesnt mean im going to feel a different way. I'm fighting it, something deep inside of me. I don't know what it is, so i dont expect anyone else to. I dont mean to sound crazy, but that's just what i am. i am so crazy for you, that i do things, i wouldnt normally do, i get angry when i wouldnt normally get angry, i cry when i wouldnt normally cry. My heart is attached to you, it always will be, and me saying these things is not meant for you to read, but these are my very true feelings. They may change, and for godsakes i hope they do. because i couldnt normally live like this, but i have you. Yes, i know i have you, there's no mistake in that but i want you with me, and there's no shame in that. i wonder sometimes, that what if my feelings aren't love, i feel that they are but just what if, what if. they're just so incredible; i want to see you all the time, i want to talk to you all the time, i want to be with you, every second of everyday, is that love? or is that obsession? that thought fightens every bone in my body, but i know it is love, i know that my feelings for you are not just for lust, or need. i love you, and there is no getting around that, because truth never lies. but deep down, somewhere deep down, im not letting go of that one thought, that one little what if. and i hate that about myself, god! there are so many things i hate about myself, but i love you more than i hate me. all this may seem stupid or crazy, and you may not understand, because i sure as hell don't. but this is this, and i can not help it, if i could i would change myself to match your every want, your every need, i want to be perfect for you, and ive never wanted to be perfect ever, in my whole intire life. thats how much youve impacted my life, and i am not saying any of this in a bad way, oh god no, because if it wasn't for you, if i hadnt of met you, i would not be..me. i would still be a halfass, no good, pathetic nobody. you may not believe it, but you have always had half of me, and you always will. we may change, we may even grow apart someday [nock on wood] but that, that will never ever change. that is forever and always, that is for eternity.

There's things i wish i could change, there are things i think i want, but i don't, i want you to be happy, no matter what that takes, i may not think so somtimes, only because im thinking in the moment, and i think that i just want you with me no matter what, i just want you all the time. i dont want you in orlando, fufilling your dreams, making new friends, meeting new people..i think that, i dont want you forgetting me, forgetting us, and what we have..but that's wrong. it's wrong of me to think that and i know that. i want you to be happy, no matter what, even if you have to do or have those things to be happy, thats what it takes, then i want that for you. i want to give you the world. but i'm just so small. i give you my heart, it might make up for everything ive done and everything i know that i will do, because i am making mistakes second by second. but i regret nothing, every since ive met you, all my regrets just dissapeared because i figured. if all my mistakes, every bad thing that ive done or even good thing ive done, led me to you, then there's is nothing to regret, there is no bad.

i love you with every inch of my being, that will never change,
my love for you is like superman, it's invencible.
my love for you is like mathematics, it never changes.
my love for you is like allie and noah's, it will live on forever.
my love for you is like the wind, you can't see it, but you can feel it.