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He walked to his bed, then remembered and fell to his knee's. "why did i do what i did?", he screams. looks for an answer, all left is silence. The unmistakable feeling of guilt and fear overcome him, for the first time. His heart is tense. He gets to his feet and walks outside, stares at the grass and then remembers. "We used to play there", he says. "We used to have picnics and watch the squirrels chase each other." He starts to cry, then wipes his eyes. "I can't feel this way..I can't care like this. It was my fault in the first place, I did it, I ended it. I took away two peoples happiness. But for what? " He stands there, his lips shakings. Seems like hours before he came back to reality. He looks around; there's old men mowing the grass, little kids playing hide and seek, people walking their dogs. "I used to be normal", he thought. "I used to be like that. Can't I have that back?" He walks inside and sits in a chair. It was their chair, he remembers. "We used to sit together, there was never any room but that didn't matter. I loved being that close to her. I loved feeling her with me.." He stops. " This is unbelieveable", he screams. " Ridiculous, even, that i'm feeling this way. It was better this way, better for us. I couldnt handle it before..but can i handle this?.. of course I can, I have to. Admit I made a mistake? Never. I can't, I won't." He stands up, then sits back down. "What if she's feeling the same way? What if she still misses me? Could we got back?.." His head falls down, "No. No we couldn't. I know how much I hurt her. We're so far apart. What if it happens again? What if I mess up again?" He stands up then walks to the kitchen. "I didn't mess up! This is the way it has to be. We can't go back anyways.." [to be continued]