In about 1year youll have it all figured out,these big city dreams are what youre about,walking like stangers among these states,only time will tell..

Why do I fucking hate it here so much? I mean I was heartbroken as much in Bluffton as I was here, but it hurts more here. I always feel bad here. I mean I felt bad a few times in Bluffton but when I get here it like triples! WHY THE FUCK?! It makes no sense. I hate this. I just wish it was easy to leave here, to get out, but everything has to be so complicated. UGH. Fuck everything!

Why do I always fall for the guys that are, unreachable? Out of my league? Undatable? This is so stupid. I mean, I can't help it though. I didn't mean to have these feelings, well I mean I've always liked him, but I didn't expect to fall this hard. I never wanted to with him, so I kept myself distant, in the emotional way atleast. But now, I'm fucked. And, once again, distance. Is it love? "love"? I have no clue. But it's the closest thing I've felt to it, besides.. "him". I don't know what to do. I feel I can't trust him, It doesn't matter anyways i guess, since we can't be together. WHY DO I DO THIS?!? I mean come on, I just got through a broken heart, not too long ago and now I'm doing it again, to myself! I just want to stop! Right now! I just can't go with being alone, feeling nothing for anyone, i guess. I just hate myself so much, UGH! This is fucked up. JUST STOP!. . .